The assumption nobody questions
Just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I know how to regulate my emotions. That might sound strange, but the truth is — many of us were never taught how.
The other day, I was walking down a corridor holding a fidget, and someone said, “Looks like you’re getting more peace from that than a child would.”
And it stuck with me. Why is it still strange for an adult to carry something that helps them feel calm?
Why children now learn what we weren’t taught
Why do we assume that because we’re grown, we should automatically know how to manage sensory needs, emotional triggers, or anxiety?
Children of this generation are learning to name their feelings and are being given tools and models to help regulate. What an amazing gift. Wouldn’t this be just as effective for adults — especially those living with PTSD, anxiety, or long-standing trauma?
The long-term impact of not learning emotional regulation
The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study has shown the long-term impact of those early difficulties — and yet, so many adults are still expected to ‘just cope.’
We were all children once. Just because no one taught us then doesn’t mean we can’t learn now.
It’s okay to need support — at any age
I’ve held this belief for years — and this moment made me reflect on my personal practice and what I value in my work. I hope anyone reading this finds a little calm, or understanding, in knowing that it’s okay to need support. It’s okay to ground yourself. It’s okay to reach for a tool, a breath, or a moment of stillness.
Emotional regulation has no age limit. Let’s normalise that.
Where to start
If this resonated with you, a good starting point is the free Grounding Through Your Senses toolkit — simple, practical techniques you can use today.
And if you’d like to explore what’s driving the anxiety or overwhelm more deeply, that’s exactly what counselling is for. A free discovery session is a no-pressure way to find out whether it might help.