Love, Words, and What We Put Inside Ourselves

When I speak to my kids, I often say to them, “Would you put something harmful in your body?”

If it were something that would make you feel unwell, something that could hurt your body or leave you feeling worse afterwards, would you put it in your body? Usually, you get a resounding no.

I always come back to that. I talk to them about unkind or harmful words — about what we put out into the world and what we take in ourselves. Because when we take in unkind words or messages, or repeat them to ourselves, they don’t just disappear. They affect how we feel, how we think, and how we move through the world.

Because we have neuroplasticity — and this has been well supported by research — our brains are not fixed. They are shaped by experience, repetition, and relationship. What we hear often, especially about ourselves, can become familiar pathways in the brain. But those pathways are not permanent.

I believe that what has been shaped through harm, stress, or repeated unkindness can be softened over time. That doesn’t mean it’s quick or easy. And it doesn’t mean we don’t need support. I absolutely believe in therapy, in tools, and in getting help in the ways that feel right for each person.

But neuroplasticity reminds us that change is possible. With safety, kindness, support, and practice, the brain can learn new ways of responding.

We are not born hating. There’s a quote I once read that says we are not born hating; we are taught to hate. Love comes innately, so we can adapt back toward love.

Underneath all the good words, good intentions, getting help in every way possible, and using every strategy, tool, or therapy available — and, where appropriate, speaking with your GP — the thing that resonates most with me is love.

So whatever circumstance you’re in, no matter how down you feel, please know that you are loved and that there is help out there for you. Use the strategies, tools, and therapies available to you, and seek guidance from your GP or other professionals if needed.

I know that not every strategy, tool, or therapy fits everybody, and that we all have different ways of coping. But love — starting with ourselves — is something I always come back to.

There’s another quote that often comes to mind: remember to use kind words, not only with others, but with yourself.

Love is one of the greatest things that can change you and those around you.